On the fourth day of Christmas, my TV brought to me…
Ross Geller – Friends
Ross: I think I’m just going to go home and think about my wife and her lesbian lover.
Ross: I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were different characters, plot lines, themes, a motif. At one point there were villagers…
Ross: I figured after work, I’d pick up a bottle of wine, go over there, and try to… woo her.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you should do? Take her back to the 1890s when that phrase was last used.
Ross: When you guys were kids, and played, ah, “Happy Days”, who were you? I was always Richie.
Bill Haverchuck – Freaks and Geeks
Neal: You look a little bit like my grandpa.
Bill: Oh, is your grandpa super-cool?
Neal: My mom says women prefer guys with a good sense of humor.
Bill: But, uh, you’re not funny.
Neal: Screw you, I’m hilarious!
Bill: This push-up is too hard to push up.
Alan: [on Halloween, Bill is in costume] Shut up, you little girl.
Bill: I’m not a little girl, I’m a bionic woman.
Marshall Flinkman – Alias
Marshall: You probably don’t know this about me, but I’m not much of a social person.
Sydney: What were you saying to those guards?
Marshall: I think I said, “I can smell you from here” in Ewok.
Marshall: Official language of the indigenous creatures on the planet Endor.
Marshall: Hush… hush… hush little Mitchell, don’t you cry. Daddy’s here to teach you about Lanthanides. Cerium is first, yes it leads the way. Hexagonal structure and it’s iron gray. Praseodymium is next and it looks like brass…
Marshall: I’ve got a spork.
Seth Cohen – The OC
Seth: So, what’s the GP, RA?”
Ryan: I have no idea what you just said.
Seth: Game plan, Ryan Atwood
Ryan: You’re just using initials now?
Seth: Yeah, it saves time.
Ryan: Well not if you have to translate.
Ryan: Game plan?
Seth: Good point
Seth: My Jew-fro is frizzing out, I look like Screech.
Seth: So when you lost your virginity, I was playing Magic the Gathering.
Ryan: You still play Magic.
Seth: Yeah, but not as much.
Seth: I love you, but if I have to spend my senior prom with you playing video games, I’m gonna kill myself.
* You may switch this to “Geeks” if you prefer…. “Nerds” just sounded better for my purposes.